Random Strings

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Programmer
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/* Sent by Muriel Godoi */
Programmer: I developed a new way to generate random strings…
A. P.: How? It’s based on processor’s clock?
Programmer? No… Just let the trainee using the “VI” and asked him to close it…
A. P.: Effective…

Original: Strings aleatórias

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Proprietary software

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Programmer
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Friend: I’ve heard about “free” and “proprietary” software… Why do you call “proprietary” the non-free software?
Programmer: It’s simple… Because when you buy the software, in a weird way, it becomes your proprietary… He owns you!
Friend: But if I bought it, i’m the owner!
Programmer: Really?? So, who defines how will you use the software? Or on how many computers you can use it? Or if you can update it? Or else, who chooses if you can know how it works inside…

Original: Software proprietário

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SQL Error

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Programmer
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/* True story sent by Erisvaldo Carvalho */
Manager: What code is it that you’re trying to fix?
Programmer: SQL…
Manager: Hmmm… Let me see it…
Manager: I wonder that the error is there on these — (minus minus), because “minus minus” equals “plus”… It’s a calculus fail

Original: Erro de SQL

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Confidential

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Programmer
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/* True story sent by Aloisio Almeida Jr */
Wife: Darling, you never told what you’re working on
Programmer: It’s because my actual project is classified…
Wife: What??? Are you saying you don’t trust me?!?
Programmer: HUMPF… ok, I tell you…
15 minutes later (after a “for dummies” explanation)
Programmer: So, this is it… Got it?
Wife: Oh, no… But I don’t care…

Original: Confidencial

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F5

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Programmer
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/* True story sent by bruno */
Boss: That form you made on site isn’t working…
Programmer: Wait a minute… I’ll fix it…
Programmer: And… It’s done.
Boss: Alright, I’ll see it…
Hours later…
Boss: Weird… When you told me that it’s done, that form wasn’t working yet… It started to work only a couple of hours later, after I press F5

Original: F5

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