real story;
string sender = "marlon de frança xavier";
Programmer: Alonso, who did create the products table?
Alonso: Me...
Programmer: Why does it has a column named "right" storing the products' barcodes?
Alonso: The boss asked for... Look...
email: "... insert a column right after ID column to store the barcodes"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: That's enough for today

real story;
string sender = "leonidas kirotawa";
Alonso: You know about Linux, right? How can I list the files in terminal?
Programmer: Type "ls -l"
Alonso: No, it's not right... "Command not found"
Programmer: It can't be, It's native... Let me see what did you type...
On screen:
[email protected]:~$ s
s: command not found
[email protected]:~$
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: mv alonso /dev/null

real story;
string sender = "Anonymous Student ";
Programmer: Duuuude!!! The primary key of this database is the student's name?
Alex: Weird, uh? It's legacy and no one is allowed to change...
Programmer: And how do they insert two students with the same name?
Alex: Oh, the directors have defined a "pattern" years ago... The first student with the name is inserted normally. If there was a new student with the same name, they would put an space after the name. A new one with the name, two spaces...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Let's trim!

real story;
string sender = "Kako Silva";
User: Did you receive a copy of the error?
Programmer: Yes, but... I received only a blank page. I think the intern scanned the wrong side of the report...
User: No, that's the error. When we ask to print the report, it prints only a blank page!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Good for those who can't read

real story;
string sender = "Tammy Alcala";
(2 guys talking)
Guy: ... And also a Warlocks team, especially if they were 2 warlocks using fear + succubus
Programmer (woman): Wow! So that's how they feel when I talk about programming...
Guy: And since when women know about programming?
Programmer: Well, just since Ada Lovelace was the first programmer in history!

real story;
string sender = "Kassi";
User: I want you change the colors of the software
Programmer: Alright, what colors do you want?
User: Strong colors, vibrating ones...
Programmer: But you have to choose them
User: I don't know what colors are disponible...
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Extreme ToDo List

real story;
string sender = "Hudson Moreira";
Alex: So, let's do lunch?
Programmer: Man... We can't leave this code this way... They will think we're lazy...
Alex: Write a comment: /* We know it's still not good, but we will improve it */
Programmer: Still lazy...
ALex: Lazy, but responsible!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: /* TODO: To think on a cool phrase to the t-shirt */

real story;
string sender = "Andrei Izidro";
Programmer: Boss, what do you think about automatize the updates of payment statuses? We would save a lot of time
Boss: No, no... We can't waste time updating those payment statuses... So I thought you should create a routine to update those statuses automatically
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: You don't say?

real story;
User (on phone): Your system is not working on any machine here...
Programmer: Is the server on?
User: Yes.
Programmer: Okay, I'll be there soon to see it...
(on server's room)
User: Did you see? The server is on, but the system is not working anywhere...
Programmer: The server is off. That light is from your no-break!
--
T-shirt: I would have to stand up to get more coffee anyway